I seen a mattress commercial recently and they were talking about sleeping with their mattress.
I can see sleep on mattress but sleep with it that's wow....

A person that sleeps with their mattress would probably say:

1) I hate it when they take the left/right side of the bed.
2) I hate it when it takes all the sheets in the middle of the night.
3) It doesn't appreciate it when I drool on it.
4) I hate it when it hogs all the pillows in the middle of the night.
5) Bringing girls to sleep gets kind of crowed then.
6) It likes it when I wash the sheets often.
7) I tend to wake it up when I'm yelling in my sleep.
8) Sleep walking confuses it.
9) It gets jealous often when I'm sleeping with the couch too much.
10) It growls when I eat on the bed.

 

Btw I just made this up. I thought it was a bit funny. If you want to add to it feel free.